Jesus Is Not Your Boyfriend: The Cultural Phenomenon

Contemporary Christian music (CCM) has exploded, with significant growth globally. Some songs from groups like Hillsong or Bethel lean into what critics call “Jesus is my boyfriend” lyrics—sappy, emotional, and suspiciously close to romantic love songs. Critics call out lyrics about “big sloppy kisses” that could double as a junior high love note. These songs often focus on personal feelings over God’s holiness, making worship feel like a rom-com montage. Romans 12:1 calls us to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice—holy and pleasing—not to pen love letters to Jesus. Others humorously note the irony of some Christians singing about being “spread wide” for Jesus, which is a lyric that makes you check the ceiling for swirling demons.

Eros vs. Agape: Why Jesus Is Not Your Boyfriend

The Bible uses different Greek words for love, and getting them mixed up is where the trouble starts. There are three key types: eros (romantic, passionate love), philia (brotherly, friendship love), and agape (unconditional, sacrificial love). Eros is what fuels rom-coms and that fluttery feeling when you see your crush. Philia is the bond between besties, like David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18:1–3). But agape? That’s God’s love for us—selfless, enduring, and rooted in His nature, not our performance. Romans 5:8 says, “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” That’s not a candlelit dinner; that’s the cross.

Agape isn’t parental love, as some might assume—it’s deeper. It’s the love that drove Jesus to the cross, not because we’re cute, but because God’s holiness and justice demanded reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:19). Worship songs that lean into eros-like vibes—think “Jesus, I’m so in love with you”—miss this. They blur the Creator-creation line, making God sound like a cosmic boyfriend who’s just really into you. God’s not sliding into your DMs. He’s the sovereign Creator, worthy of reverent awe (Isaiah 6:3).

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The Cringe Factor: When Worship Gets Romantic

Ever sung a worship song and felt like you accidentally wandered into a rom-com audition? Lyrics like “I’m lost in your love” or “you’re my heart’s desire” sound like they belong on a secular radio station, not in church. Critics rant about songs with repetitive, shallow lyrics that prioritize emotion over theology. It’s not just bad taste—it risks trivializing God’s holiness. Hebrews 12:28–29 says God is a “consuming fire,” not a cuddly bae. This trend can lead to a self-centered worship that’s more about our feelings than God’s glory. If your worship song could be sung to your crush without changing a word, it’s time to check for those swirling demons.

Creator vs. Creation: Reverent Love, Not Romance

Jesus is not your boyfriend, and worship isn’t a date night. The Bible draws a clear line between Creator and creation. Romans 1:25 warns against worshiping created things over the Creator. When we sing songs that romanticize God, we risk flipping this—making God a projection of our desires rather than the sovereign, holy King. True worship reflects agape love: reverent, submissive, and focused on God’s glory. Music should amplify biblical truth, not our emotions. Songs should point to the cross and resurrection (1 Corinthians 15:3–4), not a mushy feelings-fest. Jesus’ sacrifice reconciled us to God, not to a romantic partner. Let’s sing about the blood of Jesus, not butterflies in our stomachs.

How to Fix It: Sing Scripture, Not Sap

So, how do we avoid the “Jesus is my boyfriend” trap? Many suggest singing Scripture directly—hard to go wrong there. Songs like “In Christ Alone” or “Yet Not I but Through Christ in Me” focus on Christ’s work, not our swooning. Worship leaders should pick songs that glorify God’s holiness and sovereignty, not our feels. Congregations should pay attention to lyrics—don’t just vibe. If the song sounds like it could be on a rom-com soundtrack, maybe skip it. Colossians 3:16 urges us to let the word of Christ dwell in us richly through psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. No demons swirling above—just worship grounded in truth.

Conclusion

Jesus is not your boyfriend—sit down and stop writing Him love letters. Worship is about revering the holy, sovereign Creator, not chasing a romantic buzz. Let’s sing of the cross, the resurrection, and agape love that reconciles us to God (2 Corinthians 5:19). Next time you’re in worship, check the lyrics. For more thoughtful Christian analysis on cultural issues and faith, explore our Faith & Culture category. You can also find additional biblical resources at our Linktree page.